Garden of Romance
by Leannan Sith
Summary: Based on the anime. Tamaki sits alone at home one night, and gets an unexpected visitor. T/H
1. Chapter 1

_I'm afraid that I haven't read the manga, so this is based entirely on the anime. And anyone who has read my other fic is absolutely forbidden to read this one. _

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**Chapter 1**

**Tamaki's Revelation**_  
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Tamaki sat at his desk in silence, staring the screen of his laptop. He had typed the date and title, but not a single word of the essay that was due tomorrow. He couldn't concentrate. His father had arrived home today.

Things had been better between them lately, now that Tamaki was officially the heir of Suou family, but even so... he sighed, staring down at his fingers. For a second, he imagined that they rested on a piano keyboard, not a computer keyboard, and a wave of calm washed over him. Then the daydream faded.

With another sigh, Tamaki glanced out the window. It was twilight; the day was quickly ending, and he still hadn't gotten any work done. He should have been working that afternoon, but as usual he hadn't been able to resist spending the day with his friends; his _real_ family. Honey and Mori; his son and his brother; Kaoru and Hikaru, his mischievous younger brothers; Kyoya, his best friend, the "mother" of his family; and Haruhi, his...what?

Tamaki sighed heavily yet again. This wasn't making it any easier to work. What was Haruhi to him? The question had been plaguing him for ages, but especially since the Ouran Fair. They had danced; he had stood with his arms around her while they watched the fireworks; they had sat for hours together under the stars; and they had _almost _kissed, but at the last minute she had pulled back. And now what? For the last month they had been closer, it was true, they had spent more time alone together, but in terms of romance their relationship hadn't progressed an inch.

Suddenly a knock came at his door, interrupting him.

'Come in.'

'Tamaki-san, there is someone to see you,' the maid said from the doorway. Tamaki sighed. He really had to do homework. He would just have to decline the visit. Still, though...once again his thoughts strayed to Haruhi.

'Who is it?'

'A young lady...' Tamaki's hopes leapt— 'named Miss Diana.' His hopes fell, and he felt his face settling into a sulk. He had homework. He didn't feel like entertaining one his of scatter-brained fans. What was she doing here, anyway?

'Of course, I'll be right down.' His wishes didn't matter. Diana was a lady, and it was his responsibility to make her happy. He got to his feet without bothering to save the all-but-blank document and headed out of his rooms, down the grand staircases to the entrance hall, where Diana was waiting.

'Welcome, my princess,' he greeted her, taking her hand in his and pressing a red rose between her fingers. 'How delightful to see you again so soon. Please, come in.' Tamaki had entertained her at the Host Club earlier today. Actually, come to think of it she had been talking about how much she would love to hear him play piano, and he might have told her charmingly to come by anytime, that he would be happy to play for her. He hadn't expected her to accept the offer, though, and besides, he hadn't meant to come by his home; he had meant to come by music room three. His father didn't like him having friends over.

That didn't matter, though; what mattered was Diana's happiness.

'Would you like something to drink, princess?' he asked, leading her by the hand across the entrance hall.

'Just a glass of water, please,' she replied, her voice tentative and shy. He marvelled that she had worked up the courage to come here alone. Tamaki flashed her a smile and called to a maid, asking for two glasses of spring water to be sent to the parlour.

'Come along, my dear. Tell me, how has your day been since we parted company? I can assure that although the sky was clear, my world was far darker while we were apart.'

Diana smiled and ducked her head. She should have been used to his charms by now, because even though she had only come to the Host Club for the first time that afternoon he sat next to her in math class, so they had spoken many times.

'I was thinking about you, too,' she replied softly, and then smiled shyly up at him, and he smiled genuinely back. She was happy, and it was because of him. 'Your house is beautiful,' Diana added as they reached the parlour and he opened the door, bowing her in.

'Perhaps; yet it fades in comparison to you, my angel.' Diana blushed prettily. Half-Japanese, like Tamaki, she truly was a lovely girl, with long raven hair and jade-green eyes. She was also the heiress of a powerful company. To Tamaki, though, looks and money had never mattered. To him, all women deserved to be happy. He thought of his poor mother, torn from the man she loved, wasting away sick in bed, finally separated from her son, too...no one deserved that. The guilt at leaving her clawed at him, as it always did, and he hid it by smiling even more dazzlingly down at little Diana.

No, it didn't matter that she was pretty. Many people thought that the way he charmed girls, the way he ran his Host Club, was manipulative, but that wasn't true at all. Tamaki would never dream of taking advantage of a girl—he just wanted to make them happy. All of them. Young or old, rich or poor, ugly or beautiful, stupid or smart, it didn't matter to Tamaki.

'So, can you play me a song?' Diana asked, shattering his reverie and glancing towards the grand piano in the corner.

'Of course,' he replied. 'Please, make yourself comfortable. Do you have any specific requests?'

'Play me something romantic,' she replied, settling herself down on the sofa and lifting the glass of spring water, which had arrived before they had, to her lips. Tamaki turned and walked to the piano, real pleasure rising within him as he anticipated the feeling of the keys beneath his fingers. Sometimes it seemed that he was only happy when he was playing the piano. Well, when he was playing the piano or when he was with Haruhi. Tamaki suppressed a sigh. What was he going to do about her?

He could see her face, her wide, innocent, intelligent, beautiful brown eyes. Her tousled, short hair...usually he preferred longer hair on girls, but on her it didn't matter. She was still... As Tamaki began to play the familiar melody of _Greensleeves_—what could be more romantic than an ancient love long from countless centuries ago?—he couldn't banish his Haruhi from his thoughts. He imagined playing the piano for her, just for her...

The harmonies wound on and on. He closed his eyes, the notes coming effortlessly, some soft and tender, some intensely passionate. The music was alive in him, and he forgot where he was, just lived for the melody running through his entire body. This was where he belonged, sitting at a piano, not behind a desk running a company.

'That was beautiful,' Lady Diana whispered when he finished the piece, tears in her eyes.

'Not nearly as beautiful as you,' he replied quietly, but he wasn't really talking to her; he was talking to Haruhi. Why did he always act like such an idiot around her? Why couldn't he be smooth, charming, charismatic, as he was with other girls? Tamaki suddenly realized that Diana was talking to him.

'You will have to forgive me, my princess,' he said quickly, getting to his feet and striding across the room to her. Gently, he took her chin in his hand and lifted her face, gently forcing her to look up at him. 'So distracted was I by your exquisite beauty, it seemed that time stood still. What were you saying?' She giggled. Diana had always been shy, and Tamaki suddenly wondered if she was in love with him. Many girls were enamoured with him, enchanted by him, but not actually in love. Tamaki hoped that she wasn't, because if she was then he wouldn't be able to make her happy; he couldn't say that he loved her back. No, sometimes Tamaki wondered if he was even capable of loving a girl, because after all those he had met, charmed, entertained, all the girls he had kissed, touched, adored...he had never actually had feelings for any of them. He had just wanted to make them happy. He had never felt anything for any girl, except maybe...

..._Haruhi..._ Once again there she was in his mind, his beautiful little rose, more than his friend, more than his daughter, his...

'I was just wondering if you always play here, in the parlour.'

'Oh no, this is only for entertaining guests. I have a piano in my room that I use to practice, or just to play for myself.' He preferred that piano, the one he had had shipped from France, the piano he had used through his childhood to play for his mother. The sound wasn't as good, it wasn't a polished ebony grand, but even so he loved it.

'Can I see it?'

'I beg your pardon?'

'I'd like to hear you play on your own piano.'

'But Lady Diana, the sound isn't nearly as good on my piano. Why don't you come and sit with me? We can play a song together.'

'I can't play the piano, Tamaki. And I'd really like to hear the piano in your room. It just seems like it would be more...personal.' She lowered her eyes, her cheeks flushing again. Tamaki wondered how long it had taken her to work up the courage to see him at the Host Club, how much she had prepared for this moment when she would come to his house. She was so shy...this must mean a great deal to her. _Could_ she be in love with him?

'As you wish, my princess.' His father definitely wouldn't approve of him inviting a young lady to his room; he would be punished for it, later. But if this was so important to Diana, how could he refuse her? How could he see her face fall with sadness? He wanted to make her happy. He _needed_ to make her happy. Tamaki offered her a hand, helping her to her feet, and led her off through the house, towards his private rooms.

It felt strange, though, almost a violation. Of all of his friends, the only one who had seen his room was Kyoya. For a moment Tamaki imagined bringing Haruhi to his room. He would love to play to her on his private piano, and they could just sit and talk, she would tease him about the unnecessary extravagance, the ridiculously romantic decor, there would be no one around to interrupt when he put his arms around her and...

Abruptly, Tamaki tore himself from the fantasy. He was wont get carried away in his fantasies, and if that happened now it would be quite awkward for Diana.

'Well, here we are,' he told her, opening the door to his rooms. They first stepped into a small foyer. To the right was the door to his office, to the left was a small sitting room and straight ahead was his bedroom, where he kept his piano so that he could play whenever he wanted, or just look at it and remember his beloved mother.

'In here,' Tamaki said, leading her to his bedroom, his only retreat in his father's cold house. She shouldn't be here. He didn't want her here. But...he had to make her happy. He would play for her, see her eyes light up with happiness, and then she would leave and he could have his sanctuary restored.

'As you see, it's quite an old piano. Are you sure you want to hear it?'

'Actually...' Diana paused, looking at the floor. 'Will you just come and sit with me for a moment?'

'Of course.' He led her to the low sofa which sat against the wall and waited for whatever it was she wanted to talk about. She didn't say anything, though. Instead she continued to stare at the carpet, black with a pattern of red roses, and Tamaki got the distinct impression that she was gathering her nerve.

'Princess, is everything all right?' He gently cupped her cheek with his hand, turning her to face him. For a moment she kept her eyes down, but lifted her gaze to meet his, and with sudden resolution leaned forward and kissed him.

Tamaki's first reaction was shock. That wasn't at all what he had expected. She was always so shy. Why the sudden forwardness? Gently, he kissed her back for a moment before pulling away. For once, even he was unsure how to respond. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, and it wasn't that he didn't enjoy kissing her, but...

'Diana...' he began, but before he could finish, before he could ask what she was doing, she wrapped her arms around him again, pulling him against her. What was she doing? He wondered worriedly if she was drunk, or stoned. This wasn't the Diana he knew. Again, he tenderly disengaged. He had thought that she wanted to hear him play the piano. But was this her reason for coming here? Had she been planning this?

'Diana,' he repeated, smoothing the hair back from her face, 'what are you doing?'

'What does it seem like I'm doing?' she replied, a brazen response that belonged on the lips of a femme fatale, and seemed feeble coming from shy Diana. Still, she kissed him yet again, this time even more passionately, and before he could respond he felt her hands at his chest, nimbly unbuttoning his shirt.

And Diana's intentions were suddenly clear. Why she was doing this he wasn't sure, but there was no doubt about what she intended. His mind flew forward in a furious fantasy, her touch suddenly burned his skin as his imagination took wing, and Tamaki felt his hands moving to the ties on her dress seemingly of their own accord. After a moment he stopped, though, something holding him back. What was it? Something was bothering him, telling him that he shouldn't be doing this. For some reason he didn't even _want _to do this on anything more that a purely physical level. Why? If wasn't as though he hadn't slept with girls before. What was it? What was holding him back?

He was probably worried about her happiness. That would make sense.

'Diana,' he said firmly, pulling away, 'Diana, _why_ are you doing this? Is this really going to make you happy? Is this really what you want?'

'Tamaki,' she replied, 'you know me. I wouldn't do this if I hadn't thought about it. Tamaki, I...' she looked him directly in the eye, her face brimming with passion, fear and something stronger. 'Tamaki, I love you.'

And that was all she had to say. The words crashed over him. _I love you_. When was the last time someone had said that to him? In his whole life only three people had ever said those words. His mother, his beloved mother, the mother he had been forced to abandon, and the two girls who had really fallen for him since he had come to Japan. Tamaki felt his breath hitch, and warmth spread over him, penetrated the cage of ice that he had built around his heart. The words pushed away his father's cold looks, banished the long, dark nights of loneliness, broke apart the cruel, heartless world of politics that he had been thrust into at such a young age.

Maybe he wasn't so selfless after all. It was certainly true that he strived to make girls happy no matter the cost, but...maybe he did this for another reason, too. Maybe he just wanted to feel loved.

Instead of kissing Diana, Tamaki pulled her close, holding her to his chest. _I love you_, she had said. _Love_. The one thing he craved above all and the one thing that always seemed to elude him.

Still, though, something grated at him. Trying to ignore it, Tamaki leaned down and kissed Diana passionately, his fingers twisting in her hair, but the thought wouldn't go away. What was it? What was wrong?

And suddenly there, in his mind, there was another face. Smaller, but less delicate than Diana's, with wide eyes like melted chocolate, a face so infinitely beloved.

_Haruhi_.

With a gasp, Tamaki pulled away. He got to his feet, bringing a trembling hand to his brow, trying to sort out his thoughts.

_Haruhi_.

He quickly stepped forward a few paces, then turned feverishly back. Diana was sitting on the sofa, looked after him in confusion. He couldn't do this. The cruel, harsh, wonderful truth crashed down on him in one precious moment: he loved Haruhi. _Loved_ her. Of course he had loved her as a friend for a very long time, but this was different. Why had it taken him so long to see? He was completely in love with her, and he loved her. He had had no idea that his feelings were so strong. Why had it taken another girl to make him realize?

'Tamaki?' Diana asked tentatively. Tamaki took a deep breath. How was he going to handle this now? With trembling hands he re-buttoned his shirt before running his fingers through his hair, hesitating a moment and then going to sit back down again, on the opposite side of the sofa from Diana.

'Diana,' he began, 'I—' But what could he say? _I don't love you? I love someone else?_ Both would upset her. He realized suddenly that Diana thought that he was in love with her. Because he hadn't seen him at the Host Club before, because she only really spoke with him when she was the closest girl around and therefore the focus of his attentions, she didn't understand the way he was. Because she was so shy, so innocent, so inexperienced, it wouldn't cross her mind that he, a prince, would strive charm all women, not only those he had feelings for. She thought that he treated her the way he did because he actually liked her, not just because he wanted to see her face light up with pleasure.

'Diana, I don't think we should do this.'

'Why not?' she asked, her face flushing as rejection crashed over her. 'I love you.'

How could he do this gently, without upsetting her?

'You hardly know me. You can't possibly love me. Maybe you're _in_ love with me, but there's a difference.'

'So you're saying that you don't love me.'

'Ah...well...' what could he say now? 'Diana, I _like_ you very much. And I suppose...I suppose I might grow to love you if I knew you better.' That was a lie. He could never love anyone but Haruhi. 'But I also respect you, and I don't think we should do this unless you're absolutely certain. I think that you should get to know me better first. I would hate for you to make a wrong choice and regret it.'

This was so awkward. Never had Tamaki been awkward around a girl before. It just didn't happen. So why now?

'Oh, Tamaki,' she whispered, tears filling her eyes. Brilliant. 'You're so considerate, you're such a gentleman.'

After a moment of surprise at her reaction, Tamaki forced a smile down at her.

'Come on, now, it's late. You should get home.' He turned away and fiddled with something on his bookshelf, giving her an opportunity to fix her dress. When he saw in the mirror that she was presentable he turned around, smiled, and walked to the door. He would have to see about getting switched out of her math class. Not immediately, of course, but within a few weeks.

When Tamaki stepped out into the hall with Diana in tow he glanced to his left and saw his father standing at the end of the hall and knew that he would be punished for this later. For now, though he just led Diana back to the entrance hall, thanked her politely for coming and handed her another rose before ushering her out.

When the door was closed he leaned against it for a moment, breathing heavily. That had been terrible. Why did someone have to fall in love with him now, just when he had finally fallen in love? It was ridiculous. It was unfair. Tamaki felt himself beginning to sulk, and a moment later he fell to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees. Why was life so hard?

'Tamaki-san, get up,' someone said above him, and he looked up to see Shima looking down disapprovingly. Still pouting, he got to his feet and stalked off, back to his room, where he flopped down on his bed. A beautiful girl had just tried to hook up with him. So why did he feel so miserable? Why did he feel so lonely? He wanted...he wanted to see Haruhi.

_I love Haruhi_, he thought to himself, and then decided to try it aloud.

'I love Haruhi,' he whispered. 'I love her. I love Haruhi Fujioka!' He laughed ecstatically for a moment, but then stopped. It didn't matter; just because he loved her didn't meant that she loved him. And besides, just think how long it had taken him to realize that he loved her. Haruhi was smart, but she was also pretty oblivious, and so used to being alone that her whole nature was set against opening up to others. It might take her _years_ to realize that she was in love with Tamaki.

He curled up into a ball in bed, pouting. He wanted to see her. Now. Still sulking, he sat up, grabbed the phone and dialled Kyoya's phone number.

'Kyoya, I need heeeeelp,' he whined.

'What is it, Tamaki?' his friend sighed. 'If you want me to proofread your essay I will, but I'm not going to write it for you.'

'It's not about that,' he snapped, 'it's about...about...' but he suddenly had an idea. 'Never mind, I'll see you tomorrow Kyo-chan, bye!!!!!' Tamaki hung up and swiftly dialled Haruhi's home number.

'Hello?' Tamaki's blood froze. It hadn't occurred to him that Haruhi's father might answer the phone.

'Um...hello, can I please speak with Haruhi? This is...Diana,' he said in a high-pitched voice. There was a moment of silence.

'You can't fool me,' Ranka said in a low, deadly voice. 'I know who this is. And even if you weren't calling ridiculously late at night there's no way I would let you talk to my daughter—' there followed a lot of static and some scrambled words that he couldn't understand. Tamaki wondered worriedly if the family was under attack and was on the point of calling for a car to rush to the rescue when the static stopped.

'Hi, Sempai,' Haruhi said on the other end, and he sighed in relief.

'Hi, Haruhi. Sorry to be calling so late.'

'It's only nine o'clock. Anyway, what's up?'

_Aw, she was so kyooote!_

'Actually, Haru-Chan, I was just wondering if you could help me with my essay.'

'You haven't written it yet? Isn't it due tomorrow?'

'Yes, exactly.'

'Why are you asking me? Kyoya's in your class, why not ask him?'

'He said he wouldn't help me. So why don't I just come on over with my laptop, and—'

'Sempai, you're second in your class, behind Kyoya. I'm sure you can write an essay without the help of a younger student like me.'

'Can I come over or not?' he demanded. If she said yes then it would be the second time he had been over to her house alone. It had taken him a lot of courage to drop by without the rest of their friends the first time, but now that he knew that he loved her it seemed stupid not to go see her.

'Um...yeah, I suppose so. But my father will be mad.'

'Thanks Haru!!!!!!!!' he cried, leaping to his feet and jumping up and down. 'Ok, I'll be over in a few minutes. Bye!!!'

Maybe the evening wouldn't be so bad, after all.

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_I watched all 26 episodes straight, breaking only to go to school, and this was the result. Not brilliant writing, I know, and not a very creative storyline. Just a bit of fun. It'll only be a few chapters long.  
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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Labyrinth of Emotion**

Haruhi hung up the phone, still slightly confused; Tamaki had never asked her for help with homework before.

'Dad,' she called into the dining room, 'Tamaki's coming over, okay?'

'But sweetheart, I'm going out tomorrow afternoon, and you know I don't like you having boys over when I'm not here.'

'No, no, he's coming over tonight,' she replied, but somehow didn't think that that would console him much.

'_What?!?_ No. Absolutely not. It's far too late. What business does he have here at this hour, anyway?

'It's only nine o'clock, and he needs help with homework. Don't make a big about this, Dad. Please.'

'He's your sempai! Why would he need help from a younger student?'

'He has this essay that he left to the last minute, and he knows I'm a good student…'

'Oh, so he's a slacker, too. I'm not sure I want you hanging around with such a bad influence, Haruhi.'

'Dad!' Haruhi snapped, but then she sighed and walked into the dining room, sitting down across from him. 'Dad,' she repeated calmly, 'this has gone on long enough. We need to talk about this.'

'What do you mean?'

'I don't like the way you treat him.'

'I'm only trying to protect you, Haru. You're my daughter, that's my job.'

'No, Dad, listen. You don't need to keep me safe from Tamaki; he isn't a threat. _He _protects me! He risked his life to save me. Twice. He isn't going to hurt me.'

'You think I don't know a player when I see one—'

'Dad,' Haruhi interrupted, and suddenly, for no reason, there were tears in her eyes. 'Dad, he's my friend,' she continued softly. 'Can't you understand that? When I started at Ouran no one talked to me. I was a freak, an outcast, a _commoner_. I had come to terms with the fact that I would go through high school without any friends at all. But Tamaki accepted me, Dad. He invited me to join his club, he made an effort to make sure I enjoyed myself. I love the others, too, of course, but I know that if Tamaki hadn't invited me, they wouldn't have, either.' She paused for a second, trying to control her burning eyes.

'Haruhi,' her father said quietly, but she cut him off again.

'You have to stop this. I'm happy, Dad. They make me happy. _He_ makes me happy. When I'm around Tamaki I'm happier, I feel more at home, than I have since…since Mom died. Can't you understand that? Can't you stop making this hard for me and just accept the fact that I need friends? You can't be everything to me, Dad.'

There was silence for a long moment and then her dad, his eyes bright, said, 'Of course I can, sweetheart. I'm sorry.'

'Thanks,' she whispered, and then forced herself to get a grip. She blinked her eyes several times, and then smiled, back to normal. At least on the outside, anyway—inside she felt strangely shaky. It had been a long time since she had shown that much emotion. She was used to just bottling everything up inside of her.

'Anyway,' Haruhi said, getting to her feet. 'I'm gonna go do my own homework for now.' She walked back to her room, running her fingers through her hair. She still missed having long hair, but she also knew that if she hadn't cut it off she would never have gotten into the Host Club. She had only just sat back down at her desk when a knock came at the door.

_He got here fast_, she thought, standing back up, but when she got out into the hall she saw that her father had already let Tamaki, and was being perfectly polite. Suppressing a smile, she gestured for her friend to come and join her.

'Hey, Haruhi,' he said with a smile, in the soft voice he always used when talking to girls. 'Is something wrong with your dad?' he asked once the door was closed. 'He was being…you know. Nice. Normal.'

'He just threw a fit when he heard you were coming, so we talked and he agreed to lay off.' She frowned, looking around her closet of a bedroom. 'Sorry, Sempai, I don't have another chair. One sec, I'll go and get one,'

'Oh, don't worry about it,' Tamaki replied, flopping down on her bed and pulling out his laptop. 'Come on, let's just sit here.'

'Um…okay,' Haruhi answered, settling herself down at his side, careful not to brush against him as she sat. No matter what she had said to her dad, she couldn't deny that being around Tamaki was…_Just focus on the school work_, she told herself, cutting that thought short. But she felt like she was lost, trying to find her way through endless twisting hallways. Earlier she had chosen one path, fighting her father for Tamaki, but now she shied from it. He moved closer to her, opening his computer on his lap so that in order to see it she would have to lean towards him. She glanced away. Why couldn't they have just sat at the desk?

'Are you okay, Haru?' Tamaki asked. She glanced back and saw him watching her, his eyes full of…_something_. She swallowed. He was so oblivious, but he could also be so damn insightful. 'You can tell me, Haruhi,' he said softly.

'What do mean? I'm fine,' she replied, closing her eyes and forcing a bright smile. It wasn't like she could tell him that what was worrying her was _him_.

'You can't fool me, Haruhi. I know you too well,' he answered, and she felt his cool fingers on her face, lifting her chin, caressing her cheek. Her breath hitched in her throat and her wide, fake smile faltered. When was the last time someone had touched her so gently? Her father loved her, there was no doubt in her mind about it. But while he showed no shortage of emotion, he wasn't very good at demonstrating tenderness, especially since her mother had died. For just a second Haruhi felt herself leaning into Tamaki's touch.

'Listen, are we going to work on your essay or not?' she said, pulling back, angry with herself.

'Yeah,' Tamaki replied after a moment. 'I did do a bit of research. What do you think my thesis statement should be?'

'What? You haven't even come up with a thesis statement yet? Sempai, we're going to be here all night!'

'You know, since you're the one helping me it's a little silly for you to call me _sempai_, don't you think?' he asked, turning to look at her quizzically, his sapphire eyes sparkling.

_Sapphire? Did I just think that? _Haruhi shook her head. What was wrong with her? She remembered the incomprehensible tumult of emotions she'd felt when he had been with Éclair, and then the confusing peace that had washed over her later, when she'd danced in his arms at the Ouran Fair. Why? What was happening to her? Where had her rationality gone? Everything was confusing, and she had no idea which way to turn.

'Okay, fine. We're going to be here all night, _Tamaki_.' His lips twitched, and he started to laugh.

'That wasn't even funny,' Haruhi growled, scowling to stop herself from laughing with him, but that only made him laugh harder. _Tamaki, Tamaki, what am I going to do about you_?

He shoved the laptop into her lap, sliding closer to her and wrapping an arm around her waist. 'Okay, genius, let's write my essay.'

Haruhi sat frozen. _Get a grip,_ she tried to tell herself. _He treats all girls like this. No, he treats most girls better—I mean, worse! He treats most girls worse_. Better? Where had that come from?

'Um, it's kind of hard to type with you leaning on me like this,' she told him. The statement was true, but not because of the weight of his body against her; it was difficult to think at all, because touching was doing strange things to her mind and to her stomach. Things that she didn't want to think about. Things that she didn't have time for.

'Okay, I'll type,' he told her, stretching his arm around her body to access the keyboard, effectively trapping her torso against his chest, and leaning his cheek against her hair. 'What should I write?'

This was ridiculous. This had to stop. Everything she was feeling for Tamaki had to stop. She couldn't handle this, the crazy jealousy when he was with girls, the longing to be with him when he was away from her but the clammy fear and confusion when they were together. She had to focus on her future. And she couldn't get lost in this labyrinth of emotion. For over ten years she had run from her feelings, and she wasn't going to let them take over her life now of all times, when she was so close to reaching her goal.

'Tamaki,' she said forcefully, yanking herself away from him; he might not understand the effect that his playful teasing had on her, but she still had to make him stop because the fact that it meant nothing to him didn't mean it meant nothing to her. He didn't hold her, though, letting her pull away, and she jerked more roughly that she had intended to. To her horror and shock, Haruhi saw his laptop flying from her lap.

Immediately, her mind flashed back to the first time she had met Tamaki, when she had smashed the renaissance vase; she didn't regret it now, because if she hadn't then she would never have gotten into the Host Club, never have made friends, but even so…why was this always happening? She lurched forward, trying to catch the computer, but just ended up sprawled on her face on the floor.

'Haruhi, are you all right?' Tamaki cried. She felt him kneeling beside her, helping her up, and she shook her head to dispel the cobwebs. For a moment, when her vision was skewed, it seemed that three Tamaki crouched before her, all but surrounding her, and she almost laughed. Then she remembered the laptop, and her smile disappeared.

'I'm so sorry, Tamaki,' she said, snatching up the computer and seeing, to her horror, that the screen had gone blank. The bottom was dented, too, and the top panel was loose. 'I'll buy you a new one.' Where would she find the money to pay for this?

'Don't worry about it,' he told her, taking the broken laptop and putting it back down on the floor beside him.

'I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm so clumsy. I'll—'

'Haruhi,' he said, laughing, 'don't worry about it. It's just a computer, I'll get another one. Now I have an excuse for not doing my essay—I'll show my teacher the smashed computer and get an extension. Besides,' he added, 'It was my fault, wasn't it?' Haruhi said nothing. In a way, it was true: she had dropped the laptop because she'd been pulling away from him.

When the silence had stretched on for a long moment she glanced tentatively over at him, and saw him watching her, his eyes unfathomable. Dressed in his preppy clothes, perfectly relaxed with one leg bent and the other stretched out before him, his styled hair slightly mussed from the sudden movement, he looked like he belonged on the cover of a fashion magazine, not in her small, utilitarian room. He was also sitting very close to her. Haruhi wanted to move, to get to her feet, to distance herself from him, but his immeasurable eyes held hers and she found herself completely immobilized. Neither of them said anything. Then Tamaki shifted slightly, and Haruhi felt his fingers brushing hers on the floor between them. She felt dizzy, and her breath came uneasily. What was happening to her? She felt lost, stumbling through the endless twists and turns of the maze of her feelings; nothing was clear, and nothing was as it seemed. She trusted Tamaki. He was her friend. He was also everything that she wasn't: passionate, emotional, he did nothing halfway, he followed his whims, he never held back. He was everything she wanted, and everything that terrified her. He was a prince, and half of her wanted to be a damsel in distress, but the rest of her couldn't handle it.

Even so, she couldn't pull away. Her own incomprehensible emotions, as well as basic curiosity and primal instinct, kept her motionless. His warm hand covered hers and her head spun; everything was blurred, she couldn't see anything clearly…except for his eyes, which burned with care and passion and other things, things she couldn't understand.

And then, with no warning, her bedroom door burst open. Haruhi snatched her hand from Tamaki's, trying to beat back relief, panic, disappointment, confusion and all the other emotions that assaulted her. She was running through dark halls and between tall hedges, unable to decide which way to turn.

'I heard something crash,' her father said awkwardly from the doorway, and Haruhi realized that although it had seemed like an eternity, only seconds had passed.

'Um, yeah, I dropped Tamaki's laptop,' she explained, gesturing to the computer, and her dad frowned.

'Haruhi, you have to be more careful,'

'Don't worry, Mr. Fujioka, it was my fault,' Tamaki said, clenching the fingers on the hand that had touched Haruhi's.

'Well. Anyway,' her father said, looking torn between the desire to get between his daughter and the boy beside her and the knowledge that he had agreed not to intervene. Finally he just smiled uncomfortably and backed out of the room, leaving the door half open. As soon as he was gone Haruhi, who could reach it from where she sat, leaned forward and closed it the rest of the way. Then she leaned back against her bed, staring straight ahead of her, keeping her hands firmly in her lap. She could think of nothing to say.

That had never happened before, and it scared her. How had she gotten so trapped in his eyes? This couldn't be happening to her. She had been safe, before: nothing could touch her, so nothing could hurt her. But all the defences that she had do carefully built were coming crashing down around her and she was left directionless; there were countless paths to choose from, and none of them—not even going back to what she had been—would leave her unscathed.

'Haruhi?' Tamaki said softly, and she glanced over at him, careful not to look him in the eye. He was twisting a red rose between his fingers, and a small part of her mind wondered where he had gotten it; did he just carry them around with him? He always seemed to have them on hand.

'Yes?' Was that her voice, small and weak?

'Haruhi, are you afraid of me?'

'What? No!' she cried, automatically looking up into his eyes. It was true—she wasn't afraid of him. She was afraid of herself. She stood before a locked door, and knew that if she opened it then she could never close it again.

'Then what's wrong?' he asked, dropping the flower and lifting his hand up to cup her cheek. 'You don't have anything to be frightened of. You know that I'll never hurt you, right?'

'I know,' she replied, and, just like earlier, she felt her eyes prickling with tears. Pulling away, she got clumsily to her feet and walked to the window, opening it and leaning out into the cool evening breeze. Her tears dried, but the burning sensation didn't leave her eyes and cheeks. And after all of the choices, all of the twists and turns she had faced, there suddenly seemed to be only two paths left: she could go back, or at least try to, and close herself off again, condemn herself to a life without anyone to lean on, to rely on; or she could step forward, with Tamaki.

Even though she couldn't see him, she felt him step up behind her. After a moment she felt his hands at her waist, and then he wrapped his arms around her, his chest pressed to her back, his neck bent so he could lean his cheek against her hair. His every move was tentative, though, and this uncharacteristic uncertainty made her feel slightly better. Maybe she wasn't the only who was confused, after all. Maybe…just maybe…he wasn't acting like this because he treated all girls this way. Maybe it was because…

'Haruhi,' he whispered, his breath stirring her hair, 'what am I to you?'

'You're my sempai,' she answered, just as softly.

'Is that all?'

'My friend.'

'And nothing more?'

'I don't know, Tamaki,' she sighed, her fingers gripping the windowsill. Which way to choose? The locked door, or the cold, grey path back to loneliness? 'I just don't know.' It felt…good…to have him hold her like this. Comfortable, protected, safe. She had thought that opening up, letting someone in, would be dangerous, but it didn't feel that way when he held her. _I don't need to be protected_, she thought to herself, and it was true; she was strong, she was stoic, she could look after herself. But she couldn't be strong all the time. Would it be so terrible to have someone there for her, in her moments of weakness?

Would she be betraying her mother by letting someone else into her life?

'Why don't you let me help you figure it out?' Tamaki asked quietly. He covered her hands with his, forcing them to relax, to release their death grip on the wood of the windowsill. Haruhi took a deep breath, realising that she couldn't run from him this time. Tonight she would have to make her decision, choose which path to take. She would have to face him, and decide once and for all.

'Tamaki,' she said, her voice steady, as she turned around. She expected him to step back, though, and when he didn't she found herself momentarily frozen again; his hands were on the windowsill behind her, trapping her, and their bodies were pressed together, hip to hip, chest to chest. 'Tamaki…' She forced herself to steady her breathing. 'Your turn, Tamaki. What am I to you?' She needed to know. If she was just another one of his princesses then the choice would be easy, and a small part of her actually hoped for that, longed to have her simple life back.

'You're my friend, too, Haruhi.' He leaned forward, his face suddenly very close to hers. 'But you could be more than that. I want you to be more than that.' For a long moment they just looked at each other in silence. Then Tamaki said, 'This is new to me, too, Haruhi. I'm confused, too, and I'm not sure what to do. But you've shown me something I've never seen before, a part of myself that I never knew existed. And I don't…I don't want to ignore it. I tried to, but I couldn't. You did something to me, Haruhi, something I don't understand.' He sighed and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her to him and gently pressing her face to his shoulder. She fit against him perfectly. Without meaning to, she felt herself smiling, felt her whole body relaxing. Ten years of forcing herself to be strong, or suppressing everything, of constant resilience and self-reliance, seemed to be falling away. Every hurt, every fear, every lonely moment that she had smothered within her suddenly wracked through her body and she found herself trembling, shaking uncontrollably.

'Oh Haruhi,' Tamaki murmured into her hair. 'How you turn my world, you precious thing. I'm here for you, Haruhi,' he promised as the pain swept though. 'I know this makes no sense for you. But I'll be here for you, no matter what…if the world falls down, I'll be here for you.'

'Tamaki,' she whispered, and that was all she needed to say. The door was unlocked, standing open before her, and she wouldn't be able to close it again; she didn't even want to. Slowly, she stepped through it, leaving the labyrinthine cage behind and stepping into the light. Tamaki held her tightly, gently, perfectly. He pressed his lips to her hair, and, for the first time in ten years, Haruhi felt whole.

* * *

_Thank you so much for the reviews and stuff :)_

_I'm not sure if I'm going to keep going with this or not. I wanted to write their first kiss, but I might decide to just leave it at this. _

_I'm trying to work on my character development, and I'm not sure I kept them consistent in this chapter. If you feel like giving me your opinion I would greatly appreciate it._

_Thanks for reading!_

_(And yes, those were Laby references)  
_


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